Feather's Appleecashun

[»Feather]

Name: Feather

Activity? I go onto Scribbles whenever I'm on the computer. So... once every couple days or more.

Do you own any sites? I own one that used to be very active, but is now slowing down. I'm also one of the co-owners of "Caged", an Uglies RPG, and the only co-owner of The Psych Unit, a teen help forum.

How well are you experienced with Proboards? I'm very experienced with Proboards, if I do say so myself. I'm skilled in the HTML field, though I start to get bored after an hour or so of coding (doesn't anyone?).

Special Job: Editor.

Why? Well, I want to be a staff member or Scribbles because, even though I haven't been here too long, I love the site and want to help it grow. I think an editor would be a good job for me, because I like correcting peoples' stuff and I'm a grammar nanny. D+

How long have you been writing? Well, I've actually been writing and making stories since I was old enough to print, but I started taking it seriously (if you can call it seriously ;]) two years ago, when I had a teacher who really encouraged my talent.

Short Writing Sample: Um, Okay, let me see... Here's an intro that I've already posted in Scribbles- it's one of my better paragraphs that's online, so I'll just repost it here if that's okay. If not, I can get you another one:


Teri shivered and pulled her jacket tighter around her. The sharp autumn breeze sent shivers down her spine as dark clouds hung in the sky, prophesizing rain or perhaps snow.
As she neared the big gray highschool, she spotted a small shady group leaning against the wall, smoking what smelled like weed. She hurried past them and into the warmth of the school, for once glad of it's windowless, imprisoning walls.
"Hey, Teri!" No sooner had she entered through the large brown swinging doors than she heard Amy's familiar voice ring through the buzzing sound of the high school hallways. Teri turned to see her friend waving to her with one hand and holding Mark's hand with the other. It seemed they were always together, the perfect patch for each other. Teri was happy for them, if a bit annoyed by Mark's new omnipresence in her life, and hoped her and Marty were half the couple Amy and Mark were. Teri glanced over at her own boyfriend a few meters away, standing in the centre of a small crowd which was vibrating with laughter, and smiled bitterly. Marty was always the centre of attention, with his contagious smile and brilliant jokes. Teri, however, was quite the opposite- cynical and introverted, she hated large crowds and saw easily through the superficial layer of the average teenager. But she had to admit she was proud to be seen with him- Marty was perfect in her eyes as well as many others'.
"Teri!" Amy called again, more impatient this time. Teri hurried over to where her friends stood against the wall.

Upon consideration of your application, you will be asked to edit one short piece of writing.

[twilight]

Okie dokie! I was going to make another piece to edit, 'cause this one is so bad it's ridiculous... but... oh well, I don't have time! XD

Critique this: (and don't worry about hurting feelings, this was made deliberately bad. Just critique this as you would anything else.)

Spring time memorys swum through Rumor's mind as she trudged through the fallen snow. Pretty flowers, sweet sense, newborn pups. What wasnt to love about spring and the pleasure it brought. She loved flower. She love the scents. She loved the pups. The purply husky sighed dramatically; winter was far from her favorite season. Bunches of all the snow icey coldness death, and lack of prey it brang. What was there to loved? Rumor glanced around her, looking grassy shrubs springing up from between the brown rocks, pink and yellow flowers sprinkling the ground, tall green pine trees. instead of the barren mountainside where all you could see for miles was white, frosty snow. Rumor wrinkeld her black nose, just the thought of it made her shiver, even more so as she struggled through it.

As if on key, she plunged a foot or two into a snow drift, with a small yelp, she was gone in a blink of the eye, she emerged seconds later, scrounging around for her dignity, grateful no one was around see her plunder, now covered in white dust from head to to, be more careful! She told herself, these snow pockets could be quite dangerous on halfrock Mountain, especially for the younger untrainded dogs. What a role-model I would be, she thought sarcasticallie as she padded quickly away from the frozen drift. With a quick shake, she sent the snow flying and started her own miniature blizzard flying. Breifly, her thoughts wondered back to the wonders of spring. I could be bouncying-happy right now, instead I'm forced to glower through this muck. She wondered sourly, abating all attempts to keep postive. What was the use in a frozen land like this?

[»Feather]

Spring time memorys swum through Rumor's mind as she trudged through the fallen snow.

It’s spelled “memories” and “swam”. Also, maybe you should say “newly fallen snow, instead of just fallen. Because all snow is fallen. ;]

Pretty flowers, sweet sense, newborn pups. What wasnt to love about spring and the pleasure it brought.

It’s “scents”, and you forgot the apostrophe in “wasn’t”. And, since the second sentence starts with the word “what”, that means it’s a question and needs a question mark at the end instead of a period.

She loved flower. She love the scents. She loved the pups.

You could make this into one sentence, because they’re all fragments. Try something like “She loved the scents, flowers, and the pups.” Or possibly just take those out… because it’s kind of repetitive anyway. =/

The purply husky sighed dramatically; winter was far from her favorite season.

How can a husky be purpley? O.o Also, the semi-colen should be a dash.

Bunches of all the snow icey coldness death, and lack of prey it brang.

“Bunches of snow icey coldness death”? That makes absolutely no sense! I don’t even know what you’re trying to say there. Plus, it’s “brought”, not brang.

What was there to loved? Rumor glanced around her, looking grassy shrubs springing up from between the brown rocks, pink and yellow flowers sprinkling the ground, tall green pine trees.

First of all, take out the sentence “what was there to love? It just doesn’t really fit well. Also, take out the word “her” in the second sentence, because it’s gramatically incorrect, and change “looking” to “watching” or something. Also, maybe put a period after “ground” and start a new sentence at “tall”, then just continue the rest of the sentence from there. Just so it isn’t as runny. ;]

instead of the barren mountainside where all you could see for miles was white, frosty snow. Rumor wrinkeld her black nose, just the thought of it made her shiver, even more so as she struggled through it.

Start a new sentence after “nose”. It makes more sense.

As if on key, she plunged a foot or two into a snow drift, with a small yelp, she was gone in a blink of the eye, she emerged seconds later, scrounging around for her dignity, grateful no one was around see her plunder, now covered in white dust from head to toe,

Goodness, how did you make that sentence so long? =P This can be made into about three sentences. Ex: She plunged into a snow drift. With a small yelp, she was gone in the blink of an eye, emerging seconds later. And it’s “blunder”, not plunder.
…But, how is that on key?

Be more careful! She told herself, these snow pockets could be quite dangerous on halfrock Mountain, especially for the younger untrainded dogs.

Put a period after “herself”, and it’s spelled “untrained”. That may have just been a typo. ;]

What a role-model I would be, she thought sarcasticallie as she padded quickly away from the frozen drift.

It’s spelled “sarcastically”. The rest is good in that sentence, though.

With a quick shake, she sent the snow flying and started her own miniature blizzard flying.

Redundant! Take away the second “flying”.

Breifly, her thoughts wondered back to the wonders of spring.

The first “wandered” is spelled wrong, but the second one is correct.

I could be bouncying-happy right now, instead I'm forced to glower through this muck.

“Bouncying happy”? Try something like “I could be happy” or something. After “now”, put a “but”. And you used the word “glower” in the wrong context. Put something like “trudging”. Also, I thought she was walking in snow, not muck.

She wondered sourly, abating all attempts to keep postive. What was the use in a frozen land like this?

Either put “for a while” after “she wondered sourly”, or use a different word than “wondered”.
I don’t know if “abating” it a word… o.o

[Comments:] You’ve got a good general idea, but you stumble when it comes to run-on and fragmented sentences. I wouldn’t worry about spelling too much; after all, that’s what spellcheck is for. ;]

[twilight]

Ok, sorry it took me so long to get to this again. We're painting my room and we had to unhook my computer... I'm on my brothers extreamly slow computer right now. =3

Anyways,

ACCEPTED!

[zxc123]

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